The Six Friends You Need During an Existential Crisis
In this ever-tumultuous journey called life, existential crises usually strike unexpectedly. It’s happened to me and it’s probably happened to you: job loss, death, divorce, terminal illness. It sucks, and it leaves us grappling with these really profound questions about purpose, meaning, and existence. One thing I know for sure is that during the hard times, having a support system is crucial. Here are the six types of friends that help weather the storm.
Ride or Die: She’s ready to buy two one-way tickets, Thelma and Louise it, hide the body, abandon the families, and change your name. OK that may be an extreme but the Ride or Die is the friend who will go to great lengths to support you. Her unwavering loyalty provides a sense of security, knowing you have someone in your corner no matter what. This friend’s dedication reminds you that you're never truly alone, even in your darkest moments. They are the embodiment of fierce loyalty, ready to tackle any challenge with you, providing a sense of camaraderie and shared resolve.
Nurturing Empath: Ever the nurturer, this friend can handle your unfiltered pain and raw emotion without getting uncomfortable. She shows up by listening to the tough parts, sitting in it with you, providing care packages, and taking nature walks. The nurturing empath understands the power of silence and offers a safe space for you to express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Her compassionate presence can be a soothing balm for your troubled mind, helping you process your feelings in a safe and supportive environment. Also, she’s probably a nurse.
Practical Action-Taker: She cares about your feelings but also keeps you accountable and helps ensure your head isn’t too far in the clouds. She’s pragmatic about it all because that’s her personality. She sends job opportunities, checks in on the tactical side of things, and never patronizes. Amidst the depressy sleep and philosophical pondering, practical matters don’t go away. A friend with a knack for problem-solving can help you break down complex challenges into manageable steps. She offers guidance on tangible actions you can take to regain a sense of control over your life. This friend helps you stay grounded and take actionable steps toward resolving your crisis without making you feel like you’re incapable.
Whichever type of friend you show up as, it’s the showing up that matters.
Philosophical Validator: In times of existential uncertainty, having a friend who enjoys delving into deep philosophical discussions can be invaluable. They can help you explore various perspectives, question assumptions, and find new ways of thinking about life's fundamental questions. This friend supports your feelings, dreams, and fears, helping you understand your failures. She doesn't judge, always understands, and assures you it’s OK not to be OK (she might even buy you a little rock that says so to put on your nightstand). Her thoughtful insights and compassionate validation help you navigate the deeper questions and emotional turbulence of an existential crisis.
The Optimist: Nope. Send her away. This is not the time for “positive vibes only” 🤣
The Status Quo: Helps you feel like everything is normal by carrying on with business as usual. Offers no pity, doesn’t look at you with sadness, and helps remind you life isn’t defined by this moment in time. This friend provides a sense of normalcy and continuity, which can be comforting during a crisis. She helps you remember that eventually, life goes on and that this moment, while challenging, is just one chapter in your larger story. She reminds you of your resilience and makes sure you get up and put your big girl pants on when needed.
The Mentor: When you feel helpless, hopeless, and you have no idea what your next move is, she’s emotionally mature and seasoned enough to listen and speak frankly. She’s able and willing to provide rational, thoughtful direction. She will help you find clarity in your next steps. The mentor's wisdom and experience offer a guiding light, helping you see potential paths forward and providing the confidence to take those steps. She offers it freely without the expectation of reciprocity. She crawled so you could walk, and she won’t let you walk alone.
We are all on an extremely complex and personal journey. Life is unpredictable and devastating things are probably going to happen to us. Learning to cope healthily is one thing, but it’s sometimes hard to remember that it's also okay to lean on your friends during challenging times. That’s what they’re there for. When we start asking for help, everything starts to feel a little lighter.
Thank you to my friends (and family, it goes without saying but I’m saying it just in case!) for being there for me. I am grateful and lucky to have you.
